Punctuation Problems
by slytherinslut13
Summary: What happens when the great J.K. Rowling, not me of course, has problems with punctuation? MADNESS! No slash.
1. Comma

Punctuation Problems

Harry P. & Severus S.

Summary: What happens when the great J.K. Rowling (not me, of course) has problems with punctuation? MADNESS! No slash. It's a very silly thing that I've had on my mind for a while, and I needed to get it out. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Harry, Snape

It was his second day in potions, and Harry had no idea how much his life was about to change. Well, maybe he had a bit of an idea. One, he was late, which meant at least 5 points from Gryffindor, and two, Snape hated him. Harry still wasn't sure why, but at the moment, Harry wasn't interested. He needed to find the Dungeons! Three minutes later, Harry skidded into Potions Class.

"You're late, Potter." Sneered the greasy haired- but amazingly awesome and hot- potions master.

"Sorry, sir, but the purgeroot threw up on me in Herbology and..." Harry tried to excuse himself.

"That's 10 points from Gryffindor for your lateness, Potter." Snape interrupted.

"But sir, that's not fair!" Harry cried before he could stop himself. He saw Ron's eyes widen from behind Snape, and knew that he was in for it.

"Detention Potter, for your cheek. Meet me after class."

"Can't be worse than anything that the Dursley's made me do." Harry thought miserably as he sat next to Ron.

"Cheer up, mate. Fred and George say that he's not completely evil." Ron tried to make Harry's situation seem better.

"Potter! Weasley! Pay attention!" barked Snape from the front of the class, and they started on the notes.

Okay, so his life didn't change a LOT, but it was his first detention- and only the second day! James would've been proud. Lily, not so much, but...


	2. No Comma

Punctuation Problems

Harry P. & Severus S.

Summary: What happens when the great J.K. Rowling (not me, of course) has problems with punctuation? MADNESS! No slash. It's a very silly thing that I've had on my mind for a while, and I needed to get it out. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Harry Snape

Harry wasn't very scared for the sorting, because he had lived at Hogwarts for his whole life- both of his parents were teachers there. However, he wasn't sure what house he would be in. He could go into any of them. A red headed boy with lots of freckles turned to him.

"What do you reckon they'll make us do?" he asked, and Harry could tell that he was nervous by the slight quaver in his voice.

"Don't worry, all you have to do is put this hat on your head, and it'll put you into the right house. " Harry informed the boy.

"Oh. I'll kill Fred, he was going on about us having to battle a troll! I'm Ron, by the way. Who are you?" Ron said, holding out his hand.

"Harry." replied Harry, shaking the proffered hand.

At that moment, Professor McGonagall entered the room. Harry smiled up at his adoptive grandmother. His parents had asked her to fill that role, as Harry would be spending the majority of his time at Hogwarts. All the teachers there liked him, and were all some sort of 'adoptive' family member- aunt, uncle, and Professor Dumbledore was his grandpapa. But, I digress.

She briefly smiled at him, and then addressed the assembled students. "In a few moments, I shall take you through these doors to the Great Hall, There you will be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff... and Slytherin. Your house shall be like your family for the next seven years. Your thriumphs will earn you points, and any rule- breaking shall lose you points."

A round-faced boy yelling "Trevor" interrupted her. He stepped forward, picked up his toad, took one look at McGonagall's face, and went back into the crowd. Harry sniggered, along with several others.

"Follow me." Harry's grandmother concluded. She swept into the Great Hall, followed by about two dozen scared first years. They got to the front, and huddled around the dais. The rest of the hall looked at the Hat, clearly expecting it's traditional song. Last year the song was about how love could concur all evil. Harry's parents exchanged looks during this, and acted all gross- even KISSING in front of the entire Hall. Harry had been mortified. The hat began to sing.

Oh you may not think me pretty,  
But don't judge on what you see,  
I'll eat myself if you can find  
A smarter hat than me.  
You can keep your bowlers black,  
Your top hats sleek and tall,  
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat  
And I can cap them all.  
There's nothing hidden in your head  
The Sorting Hat can't see,  
So try me on and I will tell you  
Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,  
Where dwell the brave at heart,  
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry  
Set Gryffindors apart;  
You might belong in Huffleuff,  
Where they are just and loyal,  
Those patient Huffleuffs are true  
And unafraid of toil;  
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw  
if you've a ready mind,  
Where those of wit and learning,  
Will always find their kind;  
Or perhaps in Slytherin  
You'll make your real friends,  
Those cunning folks use any means  
To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
And don't get in a flap!  
You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
For I'm a Thinking Cap!

"Now, when I call your name, please step forward and place this hat on your head. Abbot, Hannah." The hall was silent for a bit, then "HUFFLEPUFF!" exploded from the hat's 'lips'.

As Harry had been to several of these, he quickly lost interest. He saw his sister, Acacia, who was eight, and his other brother and sister, Caleb and Iris, who were both six (twins), up at the Great Table. He started making little faces at them while the gigged quietly, until Professor Dumbledore noticed and raised his eyebrows at him.

"Snape, Harry." Whisperings broke out. Snape, of all people, had a son? How had they missed this for the last however many years?

And thus, with the comma sitting in a corner, neglected, confusion ensued, and several people fainted with surprise. The teachers, of courses, loved the mayhem, but had to end it so the rest of the first years could be sorted.

Heehee. I had fun writing this. Remember, folks, use proper punctuation, or you will be besieged with images of Lily and Snape having sex- and kids. YAY! Also, anything that you recognize isn't mine. It belongs to J.K. Rowling.


	3. Period

Punctuation Problems 2A

Rose W. & Scorpius M.

I don't own any of these people- all belong to J.K Rowling.

Summary: This one is a big play on words- I think you'll understand when you read the titles. Heehee .

Chapter One: Period

Grr. I know this day had to come eventually, but still. Couldn't it have waited until I got home in two weeks, when I could tell my mother, and not the school nurse? I stalked off to the Hospital Wing to deal with my... problem.

"Hey Rose!" My boyfriend of two months caught up to me. "Happy 14th birthday!"

"Yeah." I said miserably. "It's great. Thanks for the necklace, Scorp." I really did appeciate the gift. It was a simple, yet lovely design- a gold rose hanging from a gold chain. I was wearing it now, in fact.

"What's wrong? Did you not get that book you wanted?" He asked, trying to get me to smile.

"I did, it's just... I've been having a really bad week." I hoped he would get the hint and back off.

"Why?" he asked, following me to the Hospital Wing.

"It's a girl thing that girls all get." I blushed a bit at my statement.

"Huh?" I rolled my eyes. Honestly, my boyfriend was as thick as Dad sometimes. I didn't want to say it out loud, though. I was NOT going to talk to my boyfriend about my period! **(And there's the play on words!)** We got to the Hospital Wing.

"You can go now." I told him, trying to not be rude.

"Why? I want to know what's wrong with you!" He seemed mad, but I had had enough!

"You really want to know, huh?" I asked seething.

"Yeah!" he fired back.

"I got my period, that's why I'm having a bad week and biting everyone's head off! Ever heard of PMS, you toerag?" I yelled at him- not the greatest idea, in hindsight, as a few people were walking near us at the time. But he looked sufficiently cowed, and a pink blush rose in his cheeks.

"Oh. I'll just go now, then."

"Yeah, you do that." When I got back from my trip, I found a box of chocolate on my bed and a note.

_Rose-_

_I hope you're not too mad at me. I asked my dad what to do when your girlfriend is angry at you, and he said chocolate- I hope you like it._

_Enjoy the sugary goodness,_

_Scorpius_

He was so sweet! NOM!

A/N: When people give me chocolate, that's the sound I make- nom. It express's my joy and love.


	4. No Period

Punctuation Problems 2B

Rose W. & Scorpius M.

I don't own any of these people- all belong to J.K Rowling.

Summary: This one is a big play on words- I think you'll understand when you read the titles. Heehee .

P.S. I think you can figure this one out on your own.

Chapter Two: No Period

I approached the guy I had been dating for the past three years- since 4th year- with some news that would be less than welcome- especially as we had two months of school left.

"Hey, Rose what's up? Are you feeling better? Did Madame Fettle say what was wrong with you?" he asked. I knew he wanted to know why I was throwing up every morning. After a while, the other boys couldn't stand me getting up early, sprinting for the bathroom and retching, so they made me see Madame Fettle after I ran in on one of them- Frank, I think- as he was coming out of his morning shower. Trust me, it was highly awkward for the both of us (after I was done and realized what was going on), because he was naked and I was very close to naked- panties only.

But, I digress. "Umm, yeah, I'll tell you later."

"Why not now?" he whined.

"Because we have 5 minutes to get to Transfiguration." I said.

After Transfiguration, and then Charms, Scorpius went down to lunch. However, I dragged him away from the food to an empty classroom.

"What?" he asked.

"I found out why I was sick. You remember the New Years party?" I said, starting to shake a bit.

"N... oh yeah! When we...?" he said. I nodded. "And we might've forgotten to use protection?" I nodded again. "So what does this have to do with you being sick?"

"Um, cuz we REALLY should've used protection. Like, we reallyreallyreally should've used it." I said.

"Why?" As I have said a lot before, he is very thick.

"I missed a period." I said, rushing to get it out.

"So...? It was just a homework assignment, Rose."

"No, not that type of period, you git. The one that means a woman can have kids."

"What! You're pregnant?" he screeched.

"Keep your voice down!" I whisper- yelled. "I don't want the whole school to find out!"

"Rose! You're pregnant? Please tell me you're not."

Shit. Why her? Why did Victoire, a.k.a Professor Lupin have to hear us?

**Yay! Hee, hee. I giggled at this story, cuz it was so not punctuation!**


End file.
